One Step at a Time

I grew up in a chaotic household, to put it mildly. My mom had her hands full: separated from my dad, she spent her time working an assortment of part-time jobs with too many kids and too many pets left to fend for themselves. Ours was a God-less home and we children were undisciplined and unsupervised a good deal of the time. This is not to condemn my mother who did the best she could with what she knew, but to explain my nature. My response was to rebel and become what was completely antithetical to the environment in which I was raised. I do not thrive on chaos nor do I relish being in the midst of a crisis. Au contraire, I delight in putting things in order and keeping them that way.

When we bought this property a few months ago, at first I was totally in my element. While Dwayne was hard at work as our family's provider, I was industriously creating the blueprint for our new agrarian way of life: researching, organizing, planning. That's who I am. That's my gift. That's what I do best.........Hey, that's even what my name means! Wait!!!! {sound of brakes screeching} What comes first? The chicken or the egg? No, seriously. I mean......do we incubate eggs........or do we buy newly hatched chicks? Where do we get them? What's going in the garden? How do we make raised beds? What about an orchard? Dairy goats? Should we get a dog? As Winnie the Pooh would say, "Oh help and bother."

Beyond the swirling confusion of questions and ideas and list making and fact finding, there is One whose very presence is the peace I seek. I take a deep breath and settle into His calm sea of tranquility. Thank you, Lord. Where You have led, You will provide. Foolish me, thinking that I need to be in control when You are the author and finisher of my faith. You lead me beside still waters, You restore my soul. Quiet my mind that I may hear Your still small voice in the inner depths of my heart. Where You lead, so shall I follow. One step at a time.